Heads-up — if you’re reading this and expecting my usual snark, you are going to be disappointed.
I published my previous post late on Wednesday night, and I woke up on Thursday morning to this message -
Robb Demarest — Jackie, I apologize for hurting and being insensitive to your feelings. You deserved much better treatment, and I was wrong. I should have said this a long time ago. I’m sorry.
I didn’t respond immediately, but frankly, I felt it was grossly inadequate, and I was somewhat suspicious of his motives.
More messages trickled in during the day, until finally this -
Robb Demarest — Nyok, would you (sp) prefer I not message?
I figured at that stage that I should respond.
Now, if there’s one thing that really bugs me, it’s having my name dragged through the mud by Robb’s fans since I broke the story over 2 years ago.
So I replied by sending him a screenshot of John Buffoon’s, oops, Buffam’s comment on my Facebook wall (did I say no snark? I lied)
Jackie M: Robb, first of all, I forgave you a long time ago…
(I followed with a laundry list of gripes, and a request for him to post a separate apology on FB and to tell his fans to back off from attacking me)
Robb Demarest: All good points. It irked me when anyone attacked you…I want a standalone apology.
I’m so sorry it got to this. Take a look at the post tomorrow and let me know what you think. Before that, Jackie, I am sorry.
Jackie M: Okay thank you
Robb Demarest: My genuine words are posted. If ANYONE is nasty to you, I will defriend them. I’m trying to do my best to be better. If you ever want to talk, I’m here.
This was what he posted on his Facebook wall:
July 6 at 3:19 PM
Jackie, I am deeply sorry for the pain I caused. Any slights I threw at you were disrespectful. I would ask that no one say nasty things to her or I will have to defriend you. She had her reasons for her statements, and insulting her in any way is uncalled for and unacceptable. It is my hope that you accept my apology. It is sincere. Robb
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — —
I was still cynical, especially when he deleted a comment that he felt was attacking him, but left one up which attacked me. I expressed my annoyance and he agreed and deleted that too.
Not long after that post, Robb called and we spoke at length. I challenged him stridently and to my surprise, he conceded my points.
This was his message after we got off the phone -
You can’t disagree when the other person is right. Also, I think you would be proud of the direction I’m trying to take my life in. Talk soon. Have a good night.
And thank you.
Saturday morning, one of the women whose story I’ve never told, made contact and urged me to talk to him further. She felt we needed to resolve this.
So we had another phonecall, which lasted just under 2 hours.
I took him to task every time it sounded like he was trying to plant doubt about some of the stories. He backed down on all but the most serious allegation.
He had also heard from some fan that I claimed we were engaged for 3 years. If you’d read my story, you’d know that’s not what I said; we were engaged for a brief period, but we dated for 4 years. He had called me a liar on social media based on incorrect third hand information.
I also demanded there be no attempts at character assassination of the women; the fact remained that he made promises and lied to them about being monogamous. He agreed.
At the end, I came away recognising that he is a work-in-progress, but I’m grateful he has taken definite steps in the right direction.
I also got him to craft a personal apology to Annaliesje, which I sent to her -
Jackie M: Annaka, this is from Robb -
Robb Demarest: Ahna, what I did to you was mean, hurtful, and nasty especially knowing what happened to you in the past. I apologize, but I don’t expect you to accept. I really screwed up. That said, I really am sorry.
Jackie M: I told him I’d check if you wanted him to call you directly so you could give him an earful
Annaliesje: No.. I don’t need to talk to him.. I accept his apology and hope he can be happy and live life.. it is nice that he apologized .. thanks Jackie for letting me know thank you for all that you’ve done for all of us that have suffered and been in pain ..
… thank you for everything…
— — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — — -
I get that opinion will be divided on this latest development -
- Some will feel this is too little, too late.
I can only say that I believe someone paid for my own sins with his blood 2000 years ago, so the least I can do in turn is to forgive.
Also, if you think I’m being soft on Robb, remember I’m the one who’s put my reputation on the line for over 2 years running this campaign and I’d have kept going for another 20 if I had to.
- Some will demand I now pull down this website, that at this stage it’s just pure vendetta etc.
Robb himself says that it should stay up. I think that by staying up at for least some time, it serves a number of purposes -
- People won’t think I buckled under pressure, or have been lying all along about the stories
- They won’t think I got bribed to close it down
- It’ll give some continuity to the story and show that there is a resolution to the whole saga; it’ll show that redemption can take place by owning up to one’s past behaviour and taking corrective action
- Finally, I guess it will help keep Robb on the straight and narrow until we’re both satisfied that he’s a fully changed man
Thank you to everyone who’s stood by us through this sordid ordeal; it means more than you realise.
For those who tried to give Robb a pass and water down the seriousness of the allegations, Robb himself has this to say — any kind of womanising is not right; if you think it’s cool, you’re basically a d*ck.
Not all of us are together on this; I passed on Robb’s message to a third woman, and she rejected it outright.
In the same way that I’ve given some of these women a platform to speak out, I will be doing the same for Robb Demarest, so the next post will be from him.